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Truths Revealed: 5 Lies an Eating Disorder Tells (to deter you from seeking help)

Writer's picture: Cassandra DesJardine Cassandra DesJardine



The truth? An eating disorder lies...ALOT.


In fact, you could describe an eating disorder as the ultimate con artist.


It persistently and expertly weasels its way into your life; often during vulnerable times, and often under false pretenses. It manipulates you by offering comfort when you need it most, while simultaneously leading you down a path of self-destruction. Its mission is to dominate you, and to ensure that you become 100% dependent on it. Because this how an eating disorder prevails. And to do this, it has to sell its false promises and lies so convincingly, that you trust them as absolute truths; never questioning the eating disorder's motives, and trusting it above anyone or anything else.


But the truth is, an eating disorder's motives are not innocent - its motives are entirely self-serving. And despite what it tells you, the eating disorder will NEVER be satisfied.


If you have been living with an eating disorder for a while, this idea of talking about it as if it is separate from yourself, might seem odd. It might be difficult to distinguish between the eating disorder 'voice' (the thoughts and beliefs that support the eating disorder) and your own healthy inner 'voice'. Being able to recognize the difference between them comes with recovery; something the eating disorder wants to prevent at all costs.


Because when you are able to distinguish between your own healthy thoughts, and those of the eating disorder, you will also be able to identify the multitude of lies it has been telling you to sustain itself; at the expense of your own health, and your own life.


If you are reading this, though, you might have already begun to recognize some of the 'holes' in the stories the eating disorder replays for you. And perhaps you are beginning to wonder what life might be like without the constant chatter of the eating disorder tormenting you day and night. But if you have been considering reaching out for help, you may also be experiencing strong feelings of ambivalence, doubt, or fear. This is completely normal. It means that the eating disorder is feeling threatened. And when the eating disorder senses a potential threat to its existence, it doubles down on its lies - to lure you away from seeking recovery.


The lies the eating disorder will use to deter you from seeking help are plentiful, and they will vary somewhat from person to person. Here are 5 common ones to watch for (in no particular order):


Lie # 1: "You Aren't Sick Enough for Treatment."


Truth: With any illness, the sooner it is detected, and treated, the better the prognosis. Would we ever tell a person with cancer, for example, that their illness hasn't spread enough yet to warrant treatment? No. We ideally want to catch and treat an illness at the earliest possible signs of it; before it takes over. As with many illnesses, the longer an eating disorder goes undetected or untreated, the more entrenched it becomes; potentially making the recovery journey longer and more challenging. So please, do not allow the eating disorder to use this argument to deter you from seeking support.


Additional note: If you do try to speak with a professional about your concerns related to eating or body-image, and find that your concerns aren't being heard or taken seriously - find another professional to speak to (ideally someone who has experience with and specialization in disordered eating) and advocate for yourself. Don't give up!


Lie #2: "Without the Eating Disorder, You are Nothing."


Truth: Actually, the opposite is true - the eating disorder will try to take everything away from you. Without the eating disorder, you are a person with hopes, dreams, responsibilities, energy, interests, loved ones, and more. The truth is, the longer an eating disorder has its grip on you, the more space it will take up in your life - making less and less room for the things that make you, YOU. With recovery, you will have the opportunity to discover the uniqueness you bring to the world, what lights a spark in you, and what brings meaning and fulfillment to your life without the eating disorder. Initially, this can feel really scary. It might even cause you to feel lost and without direction in the beginning. But, as you become practiced at challenging the 'lies' of the eating disorder, your healthy voice will get louder and stronger, as will your sense of identity without the eating disorder.


Lie #3: "You're Going to Lose Control Over Your Eating."


Truth: Studies have shown that restrictive dieting (what the eating disorder encourages) actually increases your body's propensity to gain weight over the long-term (1).


Your body cannot tell the difference between a 'diet' and a famine. When you engage in restrictive eating and under nourish your body, it goes into starvation mode. In starvation mode, your body will fight to survive by flooding your brain with increased hunger signals (via increased hunger-inducing hormones) - leading to obsessive thoughts about food, and intense urges to binge eat. It is only by consistently eating more balanced, adequate portions again, that your appetite can restabilize, and the obsessive thoughts and urges to binge can begin to diminish.


Lie #4: "It's Your Fault."


Truth: The eating disorder (or even misguided people) might try to convince you that you caused the eating disorder. The eating disorder might even try to shame you as a way to deter you from seeking help. The truth is that an eating disorder is NOT something somebody chooses to have. I will say this again - NOBODY chooses to have an eating disorder.


Eating disorders are highly complex illnesses. While they are still not fully understood, what is known, is that there are many factors involved in the onset of an eating disorder - including genetic and biological, psychological (mental health and personality), and social/environmental/cultural. This means that it takes more than simply one factor, or event, or experience for an eating disorder to develop. Certain risk factors might also increase one's vulnerability to developing an eating disorder. Most importantly, recovery from an eating disorder IS possible. Treatment interventions may vary depending on the type of eating disorder and the progression of the illness, and could include one or a combination of approaches, from outpatient psychotherapy and/or support groups, nutritional counselling, medication, to more intensive day-treatment or inpatient/residential options.


Lie #5: "It's Not the Right Time to Seek Support."


Truth: The eating disorder will never run out of excuses or reasons for why you should put off recovery. Perhaps it is telling you that you need to wait until x, y, or z happen before you seek help. Perhaps it is utilizing your feelings of apprehension, discomfort, or fear to get you to put off seeking help. The truth is, the eating disorder needs to do whatever it can to delay recovery, because that is what allows it to tighten its grip on you. The longer the eating disorder exists, the more opportunity it has to weaken your physical health, and to distort your thoughts; strengthening its presence and making eventual recovery more challenging.


If you have even contemplated seeking help, listen to that healthy inner voice that's trying to be heard. There has never been a better time to take that step than right now.

~

I won't lie. Eating disorder recovery is hard. It can be scary, messy and imperfect. AND doing the hard work to reclaim your life is worth it. And so are YOU.




Have eating or body-image concerns been interfering in your life? Learn more about my counselling services and how I can help here, or contact me at:

Nourishing Change Psychotherapy 226-668-7296 or



References:

1. 'Warning: Dieting Increases Your Risk of Gaining More Weight (an update)', Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD (January 21, 2012). Written for the National Eating Disorders Association. Accessed on the site: The Original Intuitive Eating Pros.



**This blog is for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended to replace medical or psychiatric advice or treatment.

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